Borderlands Monologue

"URGH! This is so frustrating! You see, this is what I don’t get about you bad guys: You know the hero’s gonna win, but you don’t just die quickly. Man ah...Example: This one guy in New Haven, right? City’s burning, people are dying left and right, yadda, yadda, yadda… This jackhole rushes me with a spoon, A fricken’ spoon! And I’m dying laughing, right? So I scoop out his stupid little eyeballs with it and his kids are all, ‘WAAAAAAH!’ And-ahahaha… I can’t even… ahahah! He can’t see where he’s going, he’s bumping into stuff and… I dunno, maybe you had to be there. The moral is: you’re a total b***h."